Spaces In Between

I have been "busy" for the past two weeks.
Ang daming nangyari na heavy duty sa drama and mental torture.
Mahirap tangapin.. mahirap isipin..

I always thought that I could escape my work problems whenever I'm at home.
And whenever I feel that my other side of the world is crumbling down.. I work extra hours.. and debug those pending ERS/SCR...and lose myself in the mist of java servlets or stored procedures. Just so I won't be able to think about the problems.

Runner..Coward..

Weird as it may seem, but last week - both worlds came crushing.. And I found myself caught in between..

Nakakatawa nga.. I seem to have told everyone..and yet, I feel I haven't had enough talking..
I was dying inside ( wow song! )

I found myself thinking about stuff ..

First Question was WHY?
Second was HOW?
Last would be WHAT 's NEXT?

In the end.. I was still thanking GOD for every thing.

It was traumatic.. And I'm still waiting for the afterschock to pass..
Moving On was becoming more of a TASK.. technically HARD WORK..
It's still a work in progress...

I just feel bad I have to charge it to experinece.However, experience was taken as a lesson.
And lesson learned helps lessen the chances of doing it again... ;)

Change is the only constant thing in life...
One event could definitely affect others, in one way or another...
Someone I know would be leaving.. soon..
She may have emphasized to me before that her action will have no big effect on me since we were not literally working together...
Only...in her absence, someone..I (really) depend on will be leaving me...
Now, I'll be forced to stand up on my own.. ( * sigh * )

I'm not pointing fingers or accusing anyone...
I have no say on the stuff that happens around.
I have no rights either..

I know that this change will be for everyone's best..
She'll be able to grow and find a "greener" pasture.
The one replacing her could have more chance to grow and improve...
While I'll be forced to learn things that I have set aside for more than a year...

There will be MAJOR AJUSTMENTs..
I bet someday somehow... I'll get over this.
I'll be Ok.. And I'm happy for them.

Malabo na ang kwento ko..
Gusto ko lang mag salita...
I've kept my thoughts to myself far too long ( at least for my standards.. hehehe..)
I'll try to speak up a little again..

It's really hard to keep those feelings all bottled up.