3 days of darkness

It's pathetic when you feel so high about something and yet you feel harassed by the same thought.

Last week, after the technically long weekend, I feel into a deep abyss.
I went into a different high and felt like I was in a roller coaster ride.

I have so much ideas, thoughts and even "whatever" kind of stories that are dying to be spilled.

But my creative juices have been squeezed out of me prematurely.
My whole being was forced to be devoted to a certain task that did overwhelm me.

I was not sure whether I was ready for this.
And I truely believe that this has taken too much from me than what I could offer or give.

This time I felt as if I was forced to face the wall, head-on.
It was not the first time I was put into such position.
It's just that, this time I really felt so stupid.
But at the same time I have to act as if I know all the answers, just to get out of the situation.

And if that's not enough, somehow I manage to kick in some jokes. As if I wasn't also expected to be in a jolly mode. That's even more pathetic.

To top it all!
In less than 5 days, another year will mark my sort of existence here on earth.

I have been sick physically.
Tortured Mentally.
Damaged Emotionally.
Spiritually Confused.

Friday Night, I spent an hour sitting on a foldable chair beside the Bus Driver...
Thinking.Partly, praying.

That, in one way or another, I could find the peace and happiness at the end or this tunnel.

Who knows, I might bumpin into the "ANGEL" that I have been praying... :)